What do they teach you at that school?

Nine out of eighteen HS Latin I students even attempted their homework last night, after yet another red-letter performance on the easiest quiz I could possibly have given them yesterday. Of those nine, four got full credit for doing a decent job.

I hate this class.

The sheer stupidity of the majority of them is astounding. For example, Kenny comes in to make up a test today, which he missed last week. He shows up and says, "Mr. Carruth... what chapter is it on?" I don't know which is more disconcerting: that he isn't even pretending he looked at the study guide I handed out, or that he can't simply take the chapter we're on now and subtract one.

Example number 2: Lucas spectacularly failed a quiz last week. I offered to let him retake it if he came to go over his quiz and talk with me about the concept (which he obviously didn't get) one-on-one. We agree for him to come at 7:45 Monday. He showed up at 8, at which time I need to get set for Latin II. I tell him we don't have time now, and suggest that he come back today at 7:45. I was very emphatic on this point. He came in at 8 again. As he looked at me expectantly, as though I would just give him an A for showing up, I noticed he didn't have anything with him; no pencil, no paper, no failed quiz... not a thing. I asked him where his paper was and he looked at me blankly. I said we couldn't go over his quiz if he didn't bring it. He left the room to look for it, and came back assuring me it was at home. I suggested he come back tomorrow at 7:45 with his paper. We'll see, but I won't be holding my breath.

This same child also missed the test last week. On the study guide, it clearly states that the students need to know a handful of Latin inscription abbreviations for the test. Lucas missed one of the days on which we worked on these, which was the day we pulled it all together and made a master list. He had enough material to figure it out, but I thought I would be nice and give him a condensed list when he got back. He took it, used it for the activity we were doing at the moment, and promptly left it on the floor of the classroom. I have no doubt he will leave the inscription section of the test blank, or make up fake words.

Most of the class, in fact, left that section blank. And this is what brings me, finally, to the point of this post, and the logic behind the title. I hand out a study guide every chapter at least two days before the test. On this study guide is a handy list of everything the students need to know for the test. There's that word again: know. Most of my HS Latin I students seem to think that when I say they need to know this, they should glance at it once or twice, vaguely remember having seen these terms and ideas before, and that means they're ready for the test.

Despite the fact that they have now taken eight of my tests, which all follow the same format, they seem to think that they will not have to actually recall facts. I do really wonder if this is because they have grown so used to all multiple-choice, all the time. We had the same problem today on a tense quiz; we spent yesterday practicing, and I told them the exact format of the quiz, yet today half of them or more acted as if they had never seen this kind of exercise before, much less been shown how to do it and practiced. The notion of knowing something - being able to manipulate data and express ideas in a free-form setting - is a joke in this class. Half of them are in eleventh or twelfth grade. They are driving cars. It is truly a frightening proposition that a group of people so resistant to learning of any kind are operating such complex machines.

In the end, it all reminds me of an all-too-true statement I heard on the show Weeds which reflected what I fear has become reality in public education. A child named Shane Botwin had no idea what his mother was referencing when she referred to an event from US history. His uncle asked him, "What do they teach you at that school?"

Answer: "How to pass the standardized test."